Mark Gulliver

As a news editor, you meet all kinds of strange people. Some days it seems that every nut on the planet wants their story published. I was used to dealing with people who came into my office making impossible and un-provable claims. The only reason I gave these nuts any of my time, was every once in a while they turned out not to be a nut, and they had a story worth publishing.

So when a man walked in claiming to be Mars 1 astronaut Mark Gulliver, I found it impossible to believe, after all, four astronauts were killed nine months ago when their ship crashed on landing. Yet the man before me looked so much like Gulliver that I had to hear him out. I figured that he was either his twin brother or a nut that got a good plastic surgery job.

Not only did my visitor insist that he was Mark Gulliver but he wanted me to publish the account of his adventures and eventual return to Earth. To support his claim he even offered to allow us to check his fingerprints, to confirm his identity.  I quickly arranged that and after taking his prints, we sat and talked while I waited for the results.

“So,” I asked, “Why don’t you go to NASA about this?”

“I did,” replied the man, “but you have already given me more time than they did.”

“So please tell me your story,” I said, “At least it should be good for a laugh.